Missing You {Monday Ramble #2}

When I was in high school, I met Cortney at a FCA camp. We instantly became friends, then we stayed friends for years, even though we lived on opposite sides of the state and very, very rarely saw one another. We talked through MSN Messenger (seriously), email, texts, with the occasional random phone call thrown in when we had really big news. It was a friendship built on honesty... laughter... and brutal sharing of opinions. We could go weeks with very little contact and pick back up exactly where we left off. We could have hundreds of texts in a two day time span. It was just that type of friendship.

When we DID get together - random meetings in KC after doctors' appointments, her bachelorette party and wedding, a crazy spring break trip, my baby shower - we had TOO much fun. Cortney had a sense for adventure and knew about all the craziest places. We were never short on conversation.

I was in the hospital, when Raegan was born, when I found out Cortney was really sick. Her mom told me. I hadn't talked to her in a few days. Wondered why she hadn't answered my texts. I think she was excited about the baby - even though we had discussed how I was NEVER "pushing a watermelon through a hole the size of a grape" and how the only kids I was having would be as her surrogate. Then a few days later, her husband called to tell me they were removing her from life support...

Raegan was still a tiny, tiny newborn when Cortney passed away. I didn't get to go to her funeral. I've always thought funerals were more for those of us left living - and I think that's even more true after this. There's no closure. It took a long time to not pick up the phone and text her. Her number got transferred over to my new phones for the next two years... manually. I'm trying to make plans to go see her burial site.

So, friend... I miss you. I could use some brutal honesty right now and some sarcastic comments about everything in our lives. The last 3.5 years haven't been the same.