Bittersweet

Eight years. What can be said about the past eight years of my life? It's a longer time frame than anything I've been involved in to this point... and tomorrow, it comes to an end. 

Tomorrow is a day that I have thought about often over the past several years. For most of that time, I never thought about it as an actual possibility and never thought I would want it. Other times, I wanted it more than anything. A few (very scary) times I thought it would be forced on me, against my will. But now it's here, and I have been bouncing between emotions like a maniac. Happy and excited; scared and sad; nervous, anxious, anticipating. Tonight, I really cried about leaving for the first time. I can't tell you how hard it is to leave, yet how excited I am about something new and different.

Over the past eight years, I have been a Resource Family Worker, a Resource Family Supervisor, and most recently, a Foster Care Supervisor (that's a lot of new business cards!). I have written more logs and reports than I could count. I've held babies, supported foster families, loved kids, transported kids, moved kids, been to court, sat through countless meetings, had a cat hump my leg (traumatizing, I'm telling you), laughed, cried, shared necessary and probably inappropriate humor with my coworkers, recruited, trained, licensed, been trained, learned how to respectfully put someone in their place, earned my Master's degree, thought I was being let go, had to let others go, sat in the hospital and doctor's office with sick kids, and been through more changes than I ever thought I could survive. But I did. 

I have worked for one company, under one supervisor/director, for my entire post-college-adult-grownup life. Without being too sappy, because neither of us like that, she taught me how to be a good social worker. A good coworker. A good supervisor - how to support my staff and keep my expectations high and just be there for the people I work with. Most importantly, she's been a great supporter and friend. I have met and gotten to know some of the best people in the world. Foster parents I have worked with, children they've taken lovingly and diligently care for, will be forever etched in my mind and on my heart. The vast majority of foster parents have hearts the size of the universe. Especially recently, foster parenting has had a shadow cast over it, but from experience I can tell you that foster parents are GOOD people. They provide something that many of us will not or cannot do. As with any job, you grow closer to some than others - they ask about my kids, my life, offer dinner or cinnamon rolls during visits... And the kids - some of those kids just melt your heart and give you the feeling that you would take them all home if you could. My coworkers - honestly I can't even think about leaving them without ugly crying, which nobody wants to see - these people are THE BEST. Until you've done this work, you have no idea how much of yourself gets caught up in it, and the people I work with (and those I've worked with in the past) lay it all on the line. You have no idea how much you depend on the others who do what you do to get you through the rough times - they get it in a way that nobody else can. My current crew - Devin, Lora, Bitty, Christine, Toletha, Monica, Jennifer... amazing, flexible, resilient, awesome people and great friends. I could list countless others who influenced and shaped and taught me, and tell you all the amazing things about them, but the internet would implode. You know who you are, and I thank you for everything. 

So, for reasons both professional and personal, I am leaving this behind to start a new adventure. Still in social work, but on the opposite end of the age spectrum. Tomorrow, I will go into my office as an employee for the last time. Turn in my badge and cell phone (I will NOT miss that ringtone) and laptop. Grab what little I have left at the office (it was a multiple-box job packing up). Next Tuesday, I will start over, taking the knowledge and resilience and adaptability I've learned over the past eight years, and hope that my new career leaves as much as an impact as this one.