Eight years. What can be said about the past eight
years of my life? It's a longer time frame than anything I've been involved in
to this point... and tomorrow, it comes to an end.
Tomorrow is a day that I have thought about often
over the past several years. For most of that time, I never thought about it as
an actual possibility and never thought I would want it. Other times, I wanted
it more than anything. A few (very scary) times I thought it would be forced on
me, against my will. But now it's here, and I have been bouncing between
emotions like a maniac. Happy and excited; scared and sad; nervous, anxious,
anticipating. Tonight, I really cried about leaving for the first time. I can't
tell you how hard it is to leave, yet how excited I am about something new and
different.
Over the past eight years, I have been a Resource
Family Worker, a Resource Family Supervisor, and most recently, a Foster Care
Supervisor (that's a lot of new business cards!). I have written more logs and
reports than I could count. I've held babies, supported foster families, loved
kids, transported kids, moved kids, been to court, sat through countless
meetings, had a cat hump my leg (traumatizing, I'm telling you), laughed,
cried, shared necessary and probably inappropriate humor with my coworkers,
recruited, trained, licensed, been trained, learned how to respectfully put
someone in their place, earned my Master's degree, thought I was being let go,
had to let others go, sat in the hospital and doctor's office with sick kids,
and been through more changes than I ever thought I could survive. But I
did.
I have worked for one company, under one
supervisor/director, for my entire post-college-adult-grownup life. Without
being too sappy, because neither of us like that, she taught me how to be a
good social worker. A good coworker. A good supervisor - how to support my
staff and keep my expectations high and just be there for the people I work
with. Most importantly, she's been a great supporter and friend. I have met and
gotten to know some of the best people in the world. Foster parents I have
worked with, children they've taken lovingly and diligently care for, will be
forever etched in my mind and on my heart. The vast majority of foster parents
have hearts the size of the universe. Especially recently, foster parenting has
had a shadow cast over it, but from experience I can tell you that foster
parents are GOOD people. They provide something that many of us will not or
cannot do. As with any job, you grow closer to some than others - they ask
about my kids, my life, offer dinner or cinnamon rolls during visits... And the
kids - some of those kids just melt your heart and give you the feeling that
you would take them all home if you could. My coworkers - honestly I can't even
think about leaving them without ugly crying, which nobody wants to see - these
people are THE BEST. Until you've done this work, you have no idea how much of
yourself gets caught up in it, and the people I work with (and those I've
worked with in the past) lay it all on the line. You have no idea how much you
depend on the others who do what you do to get you through the rough times -
they get it in a way that nobody else can. My current crew - Devin, Lora,
Bitty, Christine, Toletha, Monica, Jennifer... amazing, flexible, resilient,
awesome people and great friends. I could list countless others who influenced
and shaped and taught me, and tell you all the amazing things about them, but
the internet would implode. You know who you are, and I thank you for
everything.
So, for reasons both professional and personal, I am leaving this behind
to start a new adventure. Still in social work, but on the opposite end of the
age spectrum. Tomorrow, I will go into my office as an employee for the last
time. Turn in my badge and cell phone (I will NOT miss that ringtone) and
laptop. Grab what little I have left at the office (it was a multiple-box job
packing up). Next Tuesday, I will start over, taking the knowledge and
resilience and adaptability I've learned over the past eight years, and hope that
my new career leaves as much as an impact as this one.
